Captain Kurt

My Prince, he has arrived. Sweep me away, my white knight...woo me with your tributes to grunge!

A simple google search.

When in doubt, search the web before you make yourself look like a fool.

Checkers, Anyone?

Because of this amazing bodysuit, I swiped Right.

Good Sex

Doesn't take the hint of silence in January, goes straight for the cake in March.

Pickup line king

*sad trombone*

Dirtbag Dan

Sometimes Humans of New York shows me the finest boyfriend material.

Play On, Playa